Oh I’m so glad my pawrents came to their senses. We finally left Texas when the heat got to be too much for us. I’m so glad, I was sweatin’ it up every day and it wasn’t fun with my tongue hanging out all afternoon. Mom kept throwing water on me to cool me off.

So 1,000 miles later, now we’re back in the cool, cool Rocky Mountains at Jerry’s Acres. I am SO glad! There’s no snow but it’s not 99 degrees either. Now, my job is to regulate the Moose that keep coming around. I hate moose but I sure love eating their poo!

I hear that we’re going to try to have a Tripawds Pawty on May 19 in Fort Collins. Anyone care to meet me there? I promise I won’t bite.

The Rio Grande River here in Texas is no place for dawgs. It’s mucky green and doesn’t hardly move and if I go in there, Mom says some guy named Montezuma will get me.

Well if I can’t go swimming, what am I supposed to do? It’s NINETY SIX degrees and we have no air conditioning! Ayi carrumba!

Why? Because my Mom and Dad are EL SUPER CHEAPOS and they always stay where it hardly costs nothin. So we’re along the river next to some place called Mexico.

I don’t know why I can’t swim there. Why, I see some dudes crossing it right now. Oh look,they’re coming this way!

We got here to a place called West Texas. It’s like an Old West movie, and some towns I went to are so cool they’re in the movies a lot.

Big cactus, big hat wearin’ cowboys, big haired ladies and big wide open places for me to run, run run. I like it!

Sometimes I overdo it and play too hard though, so today I’m taking it easy on the couch to tell you what I’ve been up to.

One thing I noticed though: these Texans know how to grow those cactus things really big. Which means one thing: big, big thorns! Ouch! I keep getting them stuck in my paws. When I wear my Ruff Wear boots I don’t get ‘em, but as soon as I go all nekkid, those thorns like to find their way up in between my toes. Just a few steps and it’s like walking on hot coals!

All you Texas doggies, please tell me how you get around without your feets hurting all of the time? Do you just chew those thorns up and spit ‘em out? Or do you wear custom cowboy doggie boots?

Hmm. I wonder if the Fake Prada Store has any?

Yipee Kai Yay
Come out and play, Wyatt Ray!

This is the year when you will turn into a Rockstar Tripawd, the time when you will show your pawrents how much you care about your pack by being at your folk’s side, always calmly and obediently, and helping other dogs stay cool in ruff times.

Wyatt, I know you can do this.”

OK Jerry. I think I can too.

We’re only 11 days into the year, but so far, so good. No fightin, no cussin, no spittin and no swearin. It ain’t so bad being a good dawg. I like the attention and I’ll keep at it. For you, and all the other Tripawds out there who need help.

Sure Jerry, I can do this!

It’s been a long haul from the nasty Oaktown ‘hood where I was born, to where I am today, but now that the bad stuff is behind me it’s been nothin’ but good times since I found my pack.

Not that my big day was a wild pawty or anything, because you know how it goes when your birthday falls right after the holidays. But even though we were all pawtied out from our time with Santa Paws, Mom and Dad made it special, and went out to get me a Flying Dutchman from In ‘N Out’s Secret Menu!

Hey Abby girlfriend, they’re just as good as you always say they are. Yum! Nothin’ better than two burgers and some cheese. I gobbled it up in two second flat.

And that was my big day. I know this year’s gonna be great, because you can’t go wrong with the number three!

 Hoppy Christmas everypawdy! May Santa Paws be good to you all day , every day!

This is how good I’ve been:

1. gave up shoes as chew toys
2. didn’t eat the furniture
3. stopped munching on human fingers
4. don’t need to stay in my crate when my peeps are gone
5. kept the moose away from the homestead
6. stopped barking at everything
7. made friends with little dawgs
8. learned how to play “roll over” 
9. let small dogs walk past me 
10. can do that dumb “heel” thing when asked

Over summer, this crazy posse came up da mountain to see me and we were rockin‘ da house. Codie Rae said I needed some regulating or something, she thought I was outta control. Maybe I was. I think she made her point.

Click here to view the embedded video.

So, I’m there to meet this Riley Pup that my Mom is all ga-ga over. He lives in a dog house on wheels too. Mom always talks about him like he’s my twin or something.  I guess his antics are pretty good, like the time he ate a ‘puter or something like that. OK, I gotta admit that’s a kewl stunt, but hey Riley, guess what? I ate a road flare! Top that!

12:30 pm. The match is on!  Let the Wiley Riot Circus Begin!

Growl! Hiss! Snarl! Bark!

Will this dynamite duo get along? Can they contain their killer instincts long enough to try? Only time will tell.

12:35 pm. Alright dude, let’s roll!

What? You say you wanna pawty? Come ON!

12:40 pm. So You’re a Frisbee dawg eh? Well what am I supposed to do with THAT?

I got the Frisbee! I got the Frisbee!

12:45 pm. Look Tripawd, it’s like THIS!

Come on kid, I dare you to grab it!

12:50 pm. The keep away game continues. . .

Should I kill you now or wait until you give up the Frisbee? Hmmmm..

12:55 pm. What-evah. I’m over it.

Can’t we all just get along?

1:00 pm. Truce?

Riley: “This kid ain’t so bad after all.”

Wyatt: “Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! You just wait Riley Dawg!”

To be continued . . .